Fozzie Bear We Are So Funny Muppet

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Quotes

• Fozzie : [walking into the church and seeing the Electric Mayhem] They don't look similar Presbyterians to me.

• Fozzie : Ahh, a comport in his natural habitat - a Studebaker.

• Dr. Teeth : [after the Electric Commotion paint the Studebaker] Doctor Hopper volition never recognize you now.

  Fozzie : I don't know how to thank you guys.

  Kermit : I don't know *why* to thank you guys.

• Fozzie : Hey, why don't you join us?

  Gonzo : Where are you going?

  Fozzie : We're following our dream!

  Gonzo : Really? I have a dream, too!

  Fozzie : Oh?

  Gonzo : But you'll call back it's stupid.

  Fozzie : No we won't, tell us, tell united states!

  Gonzo : Well, I want to go to Bombay, India and get a movie star.

  Fozzie : You don't go to Bombay to go a movie star! Yous go where we're going: Hollywood.

  Gonzo : Certain, if you lot want to practice it the *easy* fashion.

  Fozzie : [to Kermit] We've picked upwards a weirdo...

• Kermit : Where did you acquire to drive?

  Fozzie : I took a correspondence course.

• Sam the Hawkeye : Kermit, does this film accept socially redeeming value?

• Kermit : Hey, Fozzie, I want you to turn left if you come to a fork in the road.

  Fozzie : Yes sir, turn left at the fork in the road.

  [drives past a giant fork]

  Fozzie : Kermit!

  Kermit : I don't believe that.

• Kermit : Gee. A Studebaker. Where did you lot get information technology?

  Fozzie : Oh, my uncle left it to me.

  Kermit : Huh, is he dead?

  Fozzie : No, he'southward hibernating.

• Miss Piggy : [gushing] Ooh, you mad, impetuous matter, information technology'due south champagne!

  Insolent Waiter : Non exactly. Sparkling Muscatel, i of the finest wines of Idaho.

• Kermit : It's too bad the dancing girls are on vacation; this crowd'due south getting ugly.

  Fozzie : Huh. If yous think this oversupply'due south ugly, you lot should come across the dancing girls.

• Kermit : [navigating in the Studebaker] Behave left.

  Fozzie : Correct, frog.

• Fozzie : In that location was this sailor who was then fat!

  Crewman : How fat was he?

  Sailor : [breaks canteen and points it towards him threateningly]

  Fozzie : [Nervously] Uh, he was so fat that everybody liked him and there was nothing funny about him at all.

• Miss Piggy : Kermie, whisper sweet nothings into my ear.

  Kermit : Uh... motorcycle cop.

  Miss Piggy : "Motorcycle cop" is a sweet nothing?

  Kermit : A motorbike cop is chasing us.

• [Professor Max Krassman has just put Kermit in the electronic beanie]

  Miss Piggy : [drastic] Please! Please! Non my frog, please!

  Max Krassman : Say good day to your frog, pig!

  Miss Piggy : Why should I?

  Max Krassman : Because in x seconds, he won't know *you lot* from kosher salary.

  Miss Piggy : [furious] That does it!

• Kermit : [asks the waiter to gustation the vino for him and Miss Piggy] Will you taste it for us, please?

  Insolent Waiter : [tastes the vino, makes a face up and spits it out] Ooh! Ah... First-class - selection.

  Kermit : [to Miss Piggy] Should be, for ninety-v cents.

  Miss Piggy : [impressed] Ooooh!

• Fozzie : Oh, I'm so nervous. If I'k not funny, I won't be able to live with myself.

  Dr. Bunsen Honeydew : Well, so you'll have to become another apartment, won't you?

• [Beast roars and scares Kermit and Fozzie]

  Floyd Pepper : Oh, yeah, that'southward Beast. Show 'em what you lot do, Animal.

  Animal : I want to - swallow drums!

  [chews on a cymbal]

  Dr. Teeth : No, no. Beat drums, beat out drums!

  Animal : [stops chewing] Beat drums! Beat drums!

  [Starts chirapsia his head confronting that aforementioned cymbal]

  Floyd Pepper : Downward, Animal!

  Beast : DOWN!

  Floyd Pepper : Back!

  Animal : BACK!

  Floyd Pepper : Sit!

  Animate being : Sit down!

• Miss Piggy : [as Chalice combs her hair, he comes beyond a tangle] Ow!

  [turns around]

  Miss Piggy : Picket it!

  [Beaker beeps back hurriedly]

  Kermit : [through his megaphone] Miss Piggy, you look beautiful!

  Miss Piggy : Thank yous!

  Kermit : [bated] Hollywood talk.

• Fozzie : Hullo, I'd like an water ice foam.

  Ice Cream Vendor : What exercise you want? Chocolate, vanilla, java, peach fudge, rum, banana?

  Fozzie : Honey.

  Ice Foam Vendor : Dearest? I beg your pardon, I hardly know you.

  Fozzie : Ahhhhhhhh! But seriously, I'd similar a love ice foam cone for me, and a dragonfly ripple for my friend the frog.

  Ice Cream Vendor : OK.

  [handing him the two ice cream cones]

  Ice Foam Vendor : Ane honey cone for the bear.

  Fozzie : Aye.

  Ice Foam Vendor : And i dragonfly ripple for the frog.

  Fozzie : Yucha.

  Water ice Cream Vendor : Don't get 'em mixed up.

  Fozzie : Gotcha.

• Kermit : Hey, Fozzie, expect up alee there.

  Fozzie : What is that?

  Kermit : Maybe we should give him a ride.

  Fozzie : I don't know, he's pretty big.

  Fozzie : [to Big Bird] Hey there, wanna lift?

  Large Bird : Oh, no thanks. I'yard on my way to New York City to try to break into public idiot box.

  Fozzie : Oh. Hm, practiced luck.

• Miss Piggy : Oh Kermie, you lot were then courageous, and then magnificent!

  Kermit : Gee, I don't know what to say.

  Fozzie : Say the bear was magnificent. Afterwards all, I did the driving.

  Gonzo : And I took a hundred-foot belly flop onto a moving auto!

  Miss Piggy : Yes, just Kermit assumed the crawly responsibility of command!

  Kermit : Gee.

  Fozzie : Oh, blood brother.

• Dr. Teeth : It's the human with the bluecoat, the PO-lice, the cops, the fuzz, the P-I-...

  Miss Piggy : Don't yous dare!

  Dr. Teeth : I wouldn't recollect of it.

• Animal : IR-RI-TA-TED! IR-RI-TA-TED!

  Kermit : Don't worry, Animal, your large scene is coming upwards.

  Floyd Pepper : Yeah, only exist cool and consume another seat cushion.

  Beast : SEAT Absorber!

  [rips off some upholstery and stuffing at the corner of his chair and eats it]

• Kermit : That's Piggy!

  Fozzie : Yep, I know!

  Rowlf the Domestic dog : Hey, you do recollect we should help her with her numberless?

  Fozzie : Aah, no.

  [Anybody]

  Fozzie : No, nah, un-uh.

• Beast : [last lines - into camera] Become home! Go abode! Bye-bye.

  [faints]

• Fozzie : [while driving down the road in the motorcar] Ah, a conduct in his natural habitat. A Studebaker!

• Fozzie : [later on he's thrown behind the bar, he pops up wearing a beard and dressed similar the bartender]

  [Yelling]

  Fozzie : Okay everybody, drinks on the house!

  Male El Sleezo Patron : Hey, drinks on the business firm! C'mon allow'due south become!

  Fozzie : [as everyone simply him and Kermit vacate the place] Yeah. Yeah. Go, go. They're on the house!

  Male person El Sleezo Patron : [Cut to the roof of the El Sleezo, where everyone else is at present]

  [Among the confusion and chatter of everyone else]

  Male El Sleezo Patron : Wait a infinitesimal! There're no drinks upwards here! What'southward he talking virtually? The bartender told us there were drinks on the business firm!

  Fozzie : [Cutting back to the interior of the El Sleezo. Later on Fozzie removes the beard and moustache] Works every time.

• Fozzie : I'm a professional. I've had three performances.

• Fozzie : [later singing "America the Beautiful"] Patriotism swells in the heart of the American bear.

• [repeated line]

  Fozzie : No problem.

• Dr. Bunsen Honeydew : Sound is ready. Gimme a level.

  Animal : [yelling through microphone] *TES-TIIIING!*

  [nosotros see Bunsen'due south headphones rattle repeatedly]

  Animal : Ah-ha-ha-ha.

• Fozzie : Kermit, where are we?

  Kermit : [Looking at a map] Well, allow's see. Nosotros're just traveling down this niggling black line here, and uh, merely crossed that little red line over hither.

  Fozzie : [after taking his eyes off the route to focus on the map] How near, allow'south take the blue line, huh?

  Kermit : No, nosotros can't take that, that'southward a river.

  Fozzie : Oh. I knew that.

  Kermit : Yes sure.

  Fozzie : Well, listen Kermit, why don't nosotros just go and...

  Kermit : [Cutting him off] Fozzie? Uh, Fozzie?

  Fozzie : Aye?

  Kermit : Who's driving?

• Kermit : [after Fozzie parks the motorcar in front of a church and turns it off] Boy, it feels like nosotros've been driving for days.

  Fozzie : [Even so upbeat] Funny, all the same I'chiliad still wide awake!

  Kermit : Yup. Me, too.

  [Two seconds later Fozzie'south caput falls back, and he immediately starts snoring. Kermit jumps at that, then shrugs]

  Kermit : [quietly] Me, too.

  [Drops his head dorsum and settles in himself]

• [Doc Hopper is post-obit Kermit and Fozzie in the rainbow disguised car]

  Kermit : Fozzie, they're correct behind the states!

  Fozzie : I know, I know.

  Kermit : Merely Fozzie, how did they recognize us?

  Fozzie : They recognized YOU. In that location'due south a hundred bears effectually.

• Floyd Pepper : Yeah, the road director. Nosotros couldn't go anywhere without him.

  Fozzie : He's the human being with the contacts?

  Dr. Teeth : No, he'southward the man with the van.

• Kermit : [as he and the gang enter his office] Um, Mr. Lord, forgive the pause, only I'yard here to audition.

  All Muppets : Yes! Yes!

  Kermit : Nosotros've come over 2000 miles, and...

  [Stops when Lew Lord turns effectually in his chair to face up him, making him nervous now]

  Kermit : Um... oh boy.

  Miss Piggy : Kermie, we are all with you.

  Kermit : Um, please sir, my proper name is Kermit the Frog, and nosotros've read your ad, and, well, nosotros've come to be rich and famous.

  Lew Lord : [Has a brief staredown with Kermit, then into his intercom] Miss Tracy, set up the standard 'Rich and Famous' contract for Kermit the Frog and Company.

  [They all look stunned for a moment, and so all the residuum of the Muppets start cheering and celebrating behind Kermit, who but looks on shocked and starry-eyed]

• [Kermit and the Muppets arrive in Hollywood]

  Miss Piggy : Oh, Kermie, look, it's wonderful. Like a dream come up true.

  Kermit : Well, don't count your tadpoles until they've hatched, I still have to audition, you lot know.

  Floyd Pepper : Hey, there ain't nothin' to it but to practice it!

  Lord'southward Secretary : [closes the door] And where do you retrieve you're going?

  Kermit : Oh, hi there. Nosotros're here to audition for Lew Lord.

  Lord's Secretary : You only can't walk in here off the street you lot know, particularly with all these animals.

  Kermit : Animals? Wh-What's wrong with animals?

  [Muppets mutter indignantly but indistinctly]

  Lord'south Secretary : This is a picture show studio, not a zoo. Besides...

  [sneezes]

  Lord'south Secretary : ...I'm allergic to animal hair. At present get forth all of yous.

  Kermit : At present wait a second, miss. I may non be 1 of your fancy Hollywood frogs, but I deserve a hazard, and nosotros're going to stay correct hither in this office until you let us in to run across Lew Lord. Aren't we, gang?

  [the Muppets shout "Aye" indistinctly]

  Lord's Secretary : [on the telephone] Security, Miss Tracey. I want to report a...

  [the Muppets shake their fur, causing the secretary to sneeze convulsively until she finally opens the function door]

• [repeated line]

  Fozzie : Wacka, wacka.

• Fozzie : [after Kermit has turned downwards Doc Hopper'due south offer] Five hundred dollars? Would you consider a *bear* in a frog suit?

  Kermit : Fozzie!

  Fozzie : I'm sorry, sir, I just lost my head.

  Doctor Hopper : [as Kermit and Fozzie drive off] Just a minute, Mr. Frog; everything'southward negotiable!

• Insolent Waiter : Miss Piggy? Miss Piggy! Are you Miss Piggy?

  Miss Piggy : Yes.

  Insolent Waiter : Phone.

• Kermit : Did we practise something wrong, Officer?

  All Muppets : [Shocked when it reveals that the police officer is Max]

  Kermit : Okay, guys, let him explain.

  Max : This whole disguise is only so that I can warn you.

  Fozzie : Okay, sure, certain.

  Max : I never thought Physician was going to hurt Kermit; I thought he was going to lean on him a trivial. Just at present he's got this frog killer in from the coast, And the man is DEADLY!

  All Muppets : [Everybody gets shocked about the frog killer]

  Kermit : Concord it, Dr. Teeth, What's up alee?

  Dr. Teeth : It's only an former ghost boondocks.

  Kermit : Correct.

  [to Max]

  Kermit : Listen, you lot go back and tell Medico Hopper I'll be waiting for him in that location.

  Max : What?

  Fozzie : [every bit everybody get scared and concerned] Kermit! Y'all'll become killed!

  Kermit : Listen. Listen, guys, I can't spend my whole life running away from a bully. It's fourth dimension for a showdown.

• Miss Piggy : [afterward Miss Piggy and Kermit defeat and escape Max Krassman and his thugs] Well, shall nosotros go now, Kermie?

  Kermit the Frog : [the pay phone rings near them, he goes and answers] Just a second. Hello? Hmm.

  [hands the receiver to her]

  Kermit the Frog : Piggy, information technology'southward--it'southward your amanuensis.

  Miss Piggy : [Taking the receiver, in her pleasant voice] Awww, thank you.

  [She then clears her throat, and so into phone with a serious tone]

  Miss Piggy : Yeah, Morty, what practice ya got?

  [interruption]

  Miss Piggy : Commercial?

  [Turns to wait at Kermit then back to the telephone]

  Miss Piggy : How much?

  [suspension]

  Miss Piggy : Mm-hmm. When?

  [suspension]

  Miss Piggy : Accept information technology.

  [She hangs up and faces Kermit]

  Miss Piggy : Ummmmmm... ..goodbye.

  [She speedily takes off leaving him]

• Kermit : Fozzie?

  Fozzie : Yes?

  Kermit : Uh, deport left.

  Fozzie : What?

  Kermit : Bear left!

  Fozzie : Right, frog.

  Kermit : What?

  Fozzie : Never mind.

  Kermit : [sarcastically] That's beautiful.

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079588/characters/nm0000568

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